Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize