In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
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