using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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