Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
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