Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
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