Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
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