ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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