I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
