Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
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