i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Everyone says I win the strip club
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Randomize
