I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
