Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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