I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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