brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Randomize
