Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
