She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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