i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
