Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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