If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Walk of Shame today included voting.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
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