Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
