Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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