this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Randomize