i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
