Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Randomize
