Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize