Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
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