I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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