he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
