her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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