We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
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