so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Randomize