I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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