Your dad touched me again.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
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