is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
