I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
she smelled like a LAN party
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
