Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
