Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
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