i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
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