just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
