Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
im drinking this country out of the recession.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Randomize
