I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
