hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
