U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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