Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
