Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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