New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize