I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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