If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
