the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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