So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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