Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
He? As in you personified your dick?
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
