I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I skipped work to stalk him.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Randomize
