Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
so much tequila, so little girl.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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