No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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