I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Are my feet made of real feet?
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Randomize
