No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
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