WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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