I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize