Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Randomize
