how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
