her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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