Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Randomize
