Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
