That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Randomize
