After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Randomize