I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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