You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize