Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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