so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
