She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Randomize
