i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
