Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
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