My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
